I didn’t want this to be like a diary; a recording of how I spend my minutes here, because my life is mundane, there’s nothing really to write about. But similarly I didn’t want to use this as a book: a documentation of my creative musings and stopping and startings like a youth learning to drive. I wanted to meet somewhere in the middle. Isn’t that what we all want? To be fun., without being immature, serious without being dull?
All week I look forward to the weekend: yet when it arrives I long for the week, for routine. I don’t think I’m one of those people who want what they can’t have, but recently I’ve been feeling as if I won’t be content with whatever I have.
However, something interesting is happening with my life. You wander round aimlessly, thinking of what you need to do, where you will be, what you want to do. But you never actually do any of it, it’s like a dream, a fantasy in which to escape the present.
I want to write professionally but I have no idea how to go from college, getting my A levels, to becoming this writer: whether it’s for a magazine or solo. That scares me: because I don’t actually have a goal; I don’t know what to do as a career; there’s so many different paths to take, and I’m stuck at the crossroads.
Any advice would be beneficial?
Last Wednesday I saw the Maine at Electric Ballroom in Camden. I went with my sister – our first gig together without adults of some sort, so was interesting. I haven’t seen them live before, they were amazing. I also saw This Century who I’ve never heard before but they were pretty good.
Next Thursday I’m seeing Mayday Parade and The Summer Set at Electric Ballroom; I really can’t wait. Mayday Parade are my favourite band – they’ve got me through so much stuff over the past few days. I haven’t seen them live since April, and they were only supporting then. I’m going with my friend from college Hannah, yeah it should be good.
I’ve been lacking inspiration lately but I know now’s the time to get busy. Life is happening now, right this second and I need to stop procrastinating and thinking about what I need to do over the next few months because things won’t change unless I send the ball rolling. Life is now, not tomorrow, or next week.