a memory of the heartless

I tried to swallow you down with the guilt that surrounded me after you left

but somewhere amongst the thousands of sunrises I watched

I realised you wouldn’t come running towards me waving from the horizon

and no matter how much cigarette smoke I blew out,

it wouldn’t erase the memory of you.

I inhaled you like oxygen,

and you settled amongst my cells so tightly

that it took a while for me to realise

just

how easy it was

to shake you off.

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