I tried to swallow you down with the guilt that surrounded me after you left
but somewhere amongst the thousands of sunrises I watched
I realised you wouldn’t come running towards me waving from the horizon
and no matter how much cigarette smoke I blew out,
it wouldn’t erase the memory of you.
I inhaled you like oxygen,
and you settled amongst my cells so tightly
that it took a while for me to realise
how easy it was
to shake you off.