i swear this time i mean it

remember when you said you’d never feel whole again and these feelings never faded they just grew stronger

and time measures nothing but the shine of your eyes and the brightness of your smile

and 58 days later i still picture it in my head every time i close my eyes because some things don’t fade and people aren’t always right and why back down when you can have everything you’ve ever dreamed of if you just open your eyes

and hold on because you don’t know when the next curveball will come hurtling at you full speed and you’ll be knocked down but you always get back up again but every time it takes a little longer and it’s with a little less determination

and why should we listen to what other people think? why let them determine how we truly feel or what we do when at the end of the day it’s our own thoughts that crack us open like a hammer hitting a shell and the splinters of our regrets and disappointment settle inside our bones and are wedged inside us with the threat of reopening at any time like old wounds they never heal and i never felt anything so heavy as the image of you walking away and the distance growing between us

and i know you’re busy – you always liked keeping busy anyway, i guess you hoped it kept the thoughts at bay –  but i hope you find some time to look up at the sky and find shapes in the clouds because once you find something you should never let it go for as long as you can hold on to it for and imagination is something that never evades you once you have it within your grasp and i hope you’re happy and not too lonely and not too sad and once in a while maybe you’ll think of me and what we could have had


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