it is hard to love when you have learnt so well how to be alone.
how do you forget everything for someone new?
how do you breathe when you are next to somebody new?
does your heartbeat mimic theirs?
your breathing heavier when theirs is laboured?
or can you hold your own?
do you wait for them to speak?
or do you fill their mouth with your words
you, you, you?
how do you feel when they are with another?
are you jealous? do you care?
do you acknowledge your feelings?
or do you let them sit,
burying them beneath your blood cells,
hoping they’ll slip away down your bloodstream,
like a match into water?
do you want for another?
do you find comfort in your own silence,
in your solitude
or do you feel desperate to break the quiet?
do you fill the room with empty words
or do they mean something
or to anyone else?
are you careful
or are you nervous?
are you considerate?
or just shy?
do you love?
or is it simply obsession?
just another well written lie?
do you remember waiting 12 hours to kiss him because your hands couldn’t stop shaking?
or do you feign confidence,
blame it on vodka,
or just anything but the truth?
do you associate love with heartbreak?
long days spent together
or sleepless nights apart?
do you know how it feels to breathe in so deeply,
gasping for air,
and to breathe out a lover’s name,
without knowing why?
do you shield your face from the fire,
or do you embrace the flames with arms wide open?