Tag Archives: love

to burn or be burned.

it is hard to love when you have learnt so well how to be alone.

how do you forget everything for someone new?

how do you breathe when you are next to somebody new?

does your heartbeat mimic theirs?

your breathing heavier when theirs is laboured?

or can you hold your own?

do you wait for them to speak?

or do you fill their mouth with your words

your thoughts

your feelings

you, you, you?

how do you feel when they are with another?

are you jealous? do you care?

do you acknowledge your feelings?

or do you let them sit,

burying them beneath your blood cells,

hoping they’ll slip away down your bloodstream,

like a match into water?

 

tell me.

do you want for another?

a lover?

do you find comfort in your own silence,

in your solitude

or do you feel desperate to break the quiet?

do you fill the room with empty words

or do they mean something

to you

or to anyone else?

are you careful

or are you nervous?

are you considerate?

or just shy?

do you love?

or is it simply obsession?

just another well written lie?

 

do you remember waiting 12 hours to kiss him because your hands couldn’t stop shaking?

or do you feign confidence,

blame it on vodka,

caffeine withdrawal,

or just anything but the truth?

do you associate love with heartbreak?

with pain,

or happiness?

long days spent together

or sleepless nights apart?

do you know how it feels to breathe in so deeply,

gasping for air,

and to breathe out a lover’s name,

without knowing why?

do you shield your face from the fire,

or do you embrace the flames with arms wide open?

 

 

stolen glances cause stirrings in me

Don’t run away because you’re scared. Stay and see things turn around. What you believe in your darkest moments to be true is not necessarily the reality. Weak veins can become strong, and life can be seen in the strangest of moments. Swallow your pride like it is a bitter pill; you don’t want to but you have to – get through the moment.

Find peace in the simplest things; the melancholy in the spring air; the solitude on the bus ride home when you expect it to be a bustling mess of clambering bodies and sweat and adrenaline filling the air. Look for the sunshine even in the darkest of miserable mornings; find the strength to get out of bed when you feel a lack of hope and motivation seems a far off planet.

Look for her, look for him, see through their faraway expressions and lacklustre smiles. Trace the veins on his skin, cautiously avoiding the spot known to cause his body jerking impulsively. He always hated being so ticklish. You stroke his hair, frame his smile, capture the essence of his eyes.

Remember how easily the words fell from your pen, those many sleepless nights kept up by your brain. Kneeling on blankets warmed by bodily heat; a lone candle lighting up the charcoal room; the scratch-scratch of pen on paper. Waking up in the morning; sleepy eyes befuddled by the several sheets on the floor. Then you remember; smile, glance over them as if recalling a forgotten memory.

Observations through misty eyes

I notice the small things in life; the details that other people tend to overlook. The way the smile doesn’t quite meet your eyes and your darting glances all around the room constantly looking, searching for her, but she’s not there. I see the pain you’re feeling; the rollercoaster ride of emotions; wearing your mask of happy but I can see the cracks breaking through.

3:15 a.m forever

The sun rises every morning like your face, and while I watch it return to the sky and the gold flecks in your eyes, I am home. The sun pours in through the window and reminds me how fresh the day is and of the promise it brings. You are cocooned, dead to the world, in a far off land of dreams -I smile at the way the sunlight hits your face, and how blissfully unaware you are. Your eyes snap open and I hurriedly glance away before you notice my gaze. A smile creeps on my lips without me realising and I settle, taking comfort in the sound of your ever deepening breaths. What once exists is never forgotten.